Always
by cricketchick1990
Summary: She's perfectly capable of looking after herself. Ichigo however, doesn't agree. And until he does, it's going to be difficult for her to see a way forward for them. IchiRuki


_Well, I know I said that I was on hiatus for exams, but last night I kinda got bunnied with this fic. And seeing how it will bug me all the way through exams if I don__'__t post it, I just got on with the job and wrote it._

_Huge thanks to __**Matsumama**__ for being there the whole time through this one (all of a day) and for providing huge support __–__ she__'__s my number one brain twin, and even though her football team lost in the last few seconds she was still amazingly positive and I love her for it! Also for her awesome Beta skills that are rivalled by no other. She seriously kicks ass!_

_If you have time, go check out some of her fics because she writes some damn good stuff! _

_Anyway, hope you enjoy the fic!_

* * *

It was well past midnight when they got the orders, the shrill ringing of Rukia's soul phone interrupting their heavy post-coital kissing session and making Ichigo swear profusely as he fell off the bed at the shock. Then it took several minutes of searching in the pile of clothing they'd left carelessly on the floor for him to find his representative badge and separate his soul from his body. By that time Rukia was halfway down the street, out of her gigai and waiting impatiently for him by the corner.

Ichigo was still slightly unsteady on his feet from his earlier exertions when he eventually caught up with her, so Rukia led the way towards the Hollow. She swore under her breath as she realised that it was only a low level pest, which was annoying because she had really been enjoying the feeling of Ichigo's hands across her body and his lips down her neck when the orders had come through.

One hand on Sode no Shirayuki's hilt she leapt forward, set on getting rid of the Hollow quickly so that she wouldn't have to wait long before they got back to Ichigo's room.…only to be brought to a rather abrupt and painful halt as said representative shinigami extended an arm in front of her.

"Shit! What the hell do you think you're doing, Ichigo?" With her free hand she rubbed her chest to try and relieve the pain in her breasts. "That fucking hurt."

He glanced at her for a second and shrugged. "Sorry."

"You will be." She muttered under her breath, resettling her grip on her zanpakutou and moving forward again. "Stupid idiot. See if I give you anymore sex this week."

He grabbed her arm and pulled her back beside him. "You're not fighting, Rukia."

Rukia raised an eyebrow. "And why not?"

Ichigo refused to meet her gaze. "Because I said. Stay here."

He was gone before she could even think of a reply, a whispered _sai_ hanging in the air behind him.

_Shit. _Of all the kidou she could have taught him, it had to be that one. And even with all of her kidou prowess she was still no match for the raw power he could put into a simple spell. Albeit the first Bakudo was the only spell he had been able to learn without posing threat to her safety, - and her sanity - but he was damn good at it all the same.

So she was stuck, with her face in the dirt and the hilt of her zanpakutou digging painfully into her ribs.

"Ichigo you bastard! Get back here!"

**XXX**

Ichigo took far too long in taking care of the one Hollow, and by the time he returned Rukia was thoroughly pissed off.

"I hate you."

Ichigo rolled his eyes at her and released the binding, taking care to move out of her reach before she had a chance to strike. "The feeling's mutual."

"You're a dick. No wait, you can't be a dick, you're not manly enough." She stood up and brushed off her shihakushou, swearing as she realised that she was bruised from where her zanpakutou had been pressing into her side.

"Get over it, Rukia. Let's go home."

"No. I'm not going anywhere with you."

Ichigo sighed and crossed his arms. "Why not?"

"Because you're a jerk."

He rolled his eyes again. "I've heard that before, Rukia. Come on, let's just go home. I want to sleep."

"No, I want an explanation first."

"An explanation for what?"

"You know what." Rukia knew he was avoiding the question, because even Ichigo wasn't stupid enough to not realise what she wanted an explanation for.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you bloody well do, Ichigo. This has been going on for weeks. I want to know why you wouldn't let me fight. _Again_."

The idiot suddenly became very interested in a little spot on the ground and for a moment Rukia squinted, wondering if she'd left a puddle of drool there when she'd been bound or if he was just avoiding the question, again.

Nope, no drool. Definitely avoiding the question.

"Ichigo, tell me. I'm not going anywhere with you until you do."

He threw his hands in the air in frustration. "Because you're not strong enough, okay?"

She looked at him for a second, then snorted. "They've been low class Hollow ever since we got home from the war, Ichigo and they will be for some time. A child could take them on, with one arm behind their back for god's sake!"

Ichigo muttered something under his breath about her looking like a child and she stomped on his foot, so he added something about her acting like one too to his sentence.

"Bastard."

"Whatever." He turned away and settled Zangetsu over his shoulder. "Are you coming then?"

"Not until you promise to let me fight."

"You don't need to fight."

"I _want _to fight."

"Well, I don't want you to."

"Why not?"

Ichigo turned a shade of red that rivalled Renji's hair after he'd just dyed it and fidgeted nervously. "I just don't want you to fight, okay? I can do it."

"So can I." Rukia sighed and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. "Just let me fight, Ichigo. I can look after myself."

Ichigo whirled around, his fist clenched. "No, you can't!"

Rukia stepped back in shock and frowned at the desperation on his face. "Yes I can, you…_oh_." She stopped as realisation hit her like a brick. "Oh god, Ichigo, you're not _still_ beating yourself up about what happened in the war, are you? "

Near the end of the four year Winter War, after Aizen had been defeated and Hueco Mundo's population was crumbling, another threat had arisen. While the vast majority of Hollow had been contained near the Menos forest, some had still resisted and as the last shinigami began to leave the Hollows had taken advantage of their higher numbers and attacked, overwhelming the area within seconds - their main target, Orihime. She had still been healing Ichigo at the time, his unconscious form protected inside her shield.

Rukia had been the first to notice the presence of the Hollow, and wasting no time had put her still badly-injured body between the Hollow and her friends. Defenceless, her zanpakutou like lead in her hands - Rukia been attacked from every side as Orihime struggled to hold her shield together, protecting herself and Ichigo on Rukia's orders.

In the end it was the timely arrival of the Sixth squad (and the subsequent decimation of the Hollow) that had helped Rukia stay alive - though only because Byakuya had immediately sent a jolt of reiatsu through her body on sight, using his power to keep her from dying in the sand.

She had woken in the Fourth Division several days later, Ichigo by her side - disorientated and unable to process just how injured she still was. He'd wasted no time in telling her and it was obvious how distraught he had been, beating himself up about not being able to help her - never mind the fact that he had been unconscious at the time of the attack and behind an almost impenetrable shield.

No matter what Rukia or Orihime said, he refused to believe that he could not have done anything.

In the end, one afternoon when Ichigo had been complaining about it yet again as they ate dinner in Rukia's barracks, she kissed him to shut him up. Which, ultimately lead to other things and by the time she had been able to leave The Seireitei they were at the full fledged lover stage.

Which, when it came to fighting Hollow in the real world again, posed a problem. Ichigo had become overly protective to the point where over the last few weeks he hadn't allowed Rukia to even come close to touching a Hollow, let alone to fighting one. He always found an excuse to take over himself without raising much suspicion as to why. And only now was it obvious that it was due to him still harbouring feelings about the whole her almost-dying thing.

Ichigo looked away and Rukia sighed. "Ichigo, it wasn't your fault. How many times do we have to go over this?"

He shrugged stubbornly and turned away again. "A lot, I guess. I should have been able to do something, Rukia."

She slapped him. "No, Ichigo, you shouldn't have. You were unconscious for crying out loud, and I _chose _to protect you. So stop wallowing in self pity, you couldn't have done anything!"

He disagreed under his breath and she grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him down to her level. "_Please _just let it go, Ichigo. Just let me fight."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to get hurt again."

"I'm not going to!"

"You will! You always do!" He grabbed her shoulders and kissed her hard, desperation running through his body. "I don't want to have to see you like that again, okay?"

Rukia pulled away with a gasp and twisted out of his grip, a single tear tracking down her cheek. "I love you, Ichigo. I really do. And I want to be by your side, always. But if you can't do this one thing for me..." She avoided his gaze, choking back a sob. "I want a life, Ichigo, I want to fight. But until you can let go and give me a chance to look after myself, then I don't think that this can work."

"_Love? _Rukia, I…"

She held up a hand. "Don't, Ichigo, just don't. Leave it."

She turned and ran.

**XXX**

Rukia stopped at the Kurosaki house only briefly to pick up her gigai before running as far and as fast as she could, in the end collapsing in the middle of a park sometime after the sun began to rise. How long she lay in the grass she didn't know, but it was well after dawn when Ichigo found her, back in his body.

She picked up on his reiatsu long before she heard his approaching footsteps and shifted awkwardly into a sitting position in the long grass, dismissing the thought of running again and trying to make it look like she didn't really give a damn that he was there.

Easier said then done.

"I've been looking for you everywhere. You really need to teach me how to mask my reiatsu like that. Might come in handy."

She turned her back to him and shrugged. "It's not hard."

There was awkward silence for several moments before Ichigo moved closer, jeans rustling through the grass as he stood over her tense form.

"So…always by my side, huh? And love? Didn't see that one coming."

She tilted her head backwards to glance up at him, then looked away. "Don't worry about it, Ichigo. Slip of the tongue."

"Always is a long time, Rukia."

"I said don't worry about it. I was stupid to even think…"

He bent over and whacked her lightly across the back of the head. "I never said I didn't like the idea of you loving me, idiot. I love you too. I'm just concerned about whether or not always by my side means you're going to watch me on the toilet. I mean, love can only go so far can't it?"

Rukia couldn't suppress a snort and turned to face him, wrapping her arms around her knees and craning her neck to catch a glimpse of his face. "I'm sure I won't need to do that."

"Good." Ichigo reached down to take her hand, pulling her roughly to her feet and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Because sometimes I need to…"

"I don't want to know!"

He laughed and pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth as she twisted her hands in his hair. "So, always then?"

"Are you going to let me fight?"

He let out a dramatic sigh and kissed her again, properly this time. "I guess I'm going to have to, aren't I? I still don't like it, but I guess you can fight _some_ of the Hollow…"

She smiled and returned the favour. "Then it's a deal, always."

* * *

_Well, there it is. Signed, sealed, delivered. Well I'm off to study for exams now, so hope you enjoyed it and have the time to review! _


End file.
